Awesome Dad....

Last Sunday's ministry time was awesome. I really cried my heart out to our dear Father. I was so overwhelmed by the message Pastor Peh Han shared. I haven't found the strength to share about my past until now. So I'm taking this chance to share a part of my past now.

Last Sunday, I wasn't crying because I haven't felt God's love. Trust me, I'm feeling it everyday of my life. I was crying cuz I remembered the past that I turned my back on. Tried to forget. I've forgiven my biological dad. But now, for some reason, I want to look for him to know if what his family members are saying is true or not. Does he have his new family now or not. Back then I was so immature and I don't understand what's going on. But when i came to age of 11, I started to understand little by little. Until now, my mom hasn't tell me everything behind their divorce.

I believe she will tell me in the near future.

Then there was a new man who came to our lives. My mom met my stepfather and in the end, they got married. They were together for 10 years. Sadly two years ago, they got divorce cuz of my dad's first family. Yes my stepfather is muslim. At first, they didn't bother of me converting to Islam but as the days go by, it's becoming an issue. I stood strong before my dad for I didn't want to leave christianity. He let me to go on for what I believe in but deep inside him, he was against it..

Now that my mom and stepfather are not together anymore, he's still persuading me to be muslim even its against my will. I know that God will make way for my stepfather to understand what I really want and what God has planned for me.

Last thing that my stepfather told me is that he regret that he adopted me. It's probably one of the reason why my mom and him got separated. It seriously broke me to pieces and I was so devastated. I didn't expect that. I was really down.

I forgive him for that. I was like if God can forgive I can too.

Now I know that I have a Father in heaven. The best dad that a man could ever have. I'm keeping my chin up for him. I surrendered my life to Him. He knows what's the best for me.
As for now, I'm living for what I believe in. I've got awesome friends by my side. I'm glad that they are there for me whenever I need them. For instance, Aaron Lim. I respect him a lot. He's one of the nicest person I've know in my 18 years of life. I look up to him as my brother and there are no words that can explain my gratitude to him. I love him as my real brother despite the fact that we're not related to blood but we're related through God. :)

For the very first time on my life, I feel that I belong somewhere. Even when I was back in Philippines, I didn't feel this way as I felt when I entered AFC.

I just asked myself this, 'why didn't i meet them earlier?' I believe God has made it this way on purpose. :)

I think now you guys know why I cried last Sunday. Not because I haven't felt God's love but for the reason i stated above. I'll come to close my blog for today. I hope you guys learn't something out of my past. I'll end with this cuz basically this post is a wall of text. No image for I didn't take pictures of my past. So yeah. Whatever people have done to you, learn how to forgive. :) love you guys